Anxiety for the first day of school is completely normal and something we can work together to support learners with. From our youngest newcomers to learners starting in later years, many feel a mix of excitement and nervousness for the potential unknown. At Nexus, we strive to create a safe, supportive environment and working with families is an important part of making that possible. We have created this helpful guide for families to support their children feel as comfortable as possible when starting school here. With that in mind, here are some strategies and steps to help your child prepare for that special first day of school.

How to Tell if Your Child is Struggling With First Day of School Anxieties?

Noticing anxiety in children isn’t always obvious. Labelling this emotion for themselves is difficult when it might be one of the first times they’ve felt it. Some of our younger learners might not realise the big feelings they are dealing with are a result of the upcoming transition to a new school. As their grown-up, you can help your child identify and work through big emotions like anxiety.

Signs that your child is anxious:

• Trouble falling or staying asleep
• Avoiding activities or social situations that they usually enjoy
• Complaining about stomach aches and other physical issues
• Being extra clingy or needy with a parent or caregiver
• Tantrums and emotional outbursts

Just remember, you know your child best! These are just some of the common symptoms of anxiety and they can show up differently for each child. So, if there are any behavioural or emotional changes, anxiety about the first day of school could be the cause.

What Can I Do Ahead of My Child’s First Day of School?

To prevent those first day nerves from escalating to anxiety, you can work with your child to prepare for the transition and frame change in a positive light. Here are 3 effective ways to turn those nerves into excitement!

1. Ensure Basic Needs Are Met

According to Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs, children need their basic physiological and safety needs met before they can thrive in other areas of life. This means they need to be well-rested, have eaten a hearty breakfast and feel safe in their environment. Establishing a good routine in the lead up to the first day of school will ensure these needs are met and they will arrive at school ready to seize the day.

2. Empower Your Child Through Choice

Making small choices throughout the day can boost your child’s confidence. Whether its picking a bedtime story, shopping for school supplies with you, or choosing their breakfast, a sense of ownership over their new school experience will create excitement and enjoyment for them.

3. Remove Uncertainty and Share Predictability

Uncertainty often fuels anxiety. By sharing what to expect on their first day of school, you can help them feel more prepared and in control. Talk about their schedule and remind them of their orientation day or school tour. You can explore the school website together and familiarise them with expectations and potential extra-curricular activities. Remember to discuss after-school plans too for a sense of comfort in what is to come next.

How Should I Support My Child For Their First Day of School?

Even if your child isn’t displaying symptoms of anxiety in the build up to the first day of school, the following advice will help them with transitioning to a new environment.

1. Practise Open Communication and Empathy

Listen to your child without judgement and validate their feelings. Being able to express their worries to you freely can be a very cathartic and reassuring experience for them. Let them know that first day of school anxieties are normal and that it’s okay to feel that way. When they open up, be careful with how you word questions. Avoid phrases like “Are you worried about…?” This might suggest to your child that there is something to be anxious about. Instead, try open-ended questions like, “Tell me more about…”

2. Equip Them to Thrive

Give them strategies to use throughout their first day of school and beyond. Alongside talking about their feelings, you can practise ways to calm those nerves.For example, first day nerves can feel like having butterflies in your stomach. Teach them to take deep breaths and imagine blowing out all the butterflies. Reassure them that they can acknowledge how they feel in the moment and be at peace with it. You can also give them something tangible as a reminder that you support and love them. Write them a little note of encouragement that they can look at throughout the day or put a special keyring on their rucksack that they can hold when needed.

3. Focus on the Positives

Think of a time that your child did something for the first time: their first day of nursery, the first time they spoke to a friend, their first dance class for example. Remind them of previous experiences that had a positive outcome. Looking back on previous successes that they have accomplished will boost their confidence. They have done it before and they will do it again!

4. Check and Regulate Your Own Emotions

As parents, our children can mirror how we are feeling. Dr Busman, a clinical psychologist who specialises in anxieties in children and adolescents, reminds us that the new academic year can be stress inducing for parents and caregivers too. Therefore, it is vital to check your own emotions and make sure you are not passing stress onto your child.

The first day of school might be filled with lots of new experiences and some bumps along the way. With patience and perseverance, things will soon get better. You know your child best and your love and unwavering support is exactly what they need.

How Can Schools Support Children with First Day Anxieties?

Schools play an important part in a child’s adjustment to a new school. In addition to your support at home, school should also work with children to support their social-emotional health and wellbeing. At Nexus International School (Singapore), we use HELLOS, a specific programme designed to support learners with their transition to a new school.

H – Have a Positive Attitude:

Approach school with an open mind and a positive attitude. Embrace the opportunity to make new friends, learn new things, and have new experiences.

E – Engage in Activities:

Get involved in class activities, conversations, and extracurricular activities that align with your interests. Participating in these activities will help you meet like-minded peers and feel connected to the school community.

L – Listen and Observe:

Take some time to listen and observe the social dynamics and norms of your new class, especially when it feels overwhelming in a new environment.

L – Leverage Support:

Reach out to the school counsellor, teachers, or other support staff who can provide guidance and support.

O – Open Up:

Be open and approachable to others. Smile, introduce yourself, and make an effort to engage in conversations with your classmates.

S- Show Respect:

Respectful behaviour helps build positive relationships and creates a welcoming environment. So, show kindness, empathy, and consideration towards new classmates, teachers and staff members.

As your child will spend a considerable amount of time at school, how their school supports them is vital. Nexus strives to provide a safe and happy environment for learners to thrive.

Support for Transitions At Nexus

As an international school in Singapore, we recognise that transitions are a huge part of our learners’ lives. Learning to adapt, change routines, and go into new environments is a vital part of child development that we nurture and support. At Nexus, we ensure that there are plenty of resources for learners and their families. From programmes like HELLOS, to wellbeing training for teachers, to support from our dedicated team of counsellors, the emotional health of learners is a top priority.

Nexus also has a Learner Wellbeing and Care Centre that learners are welcome to visit. Here, customised anxiety management plans can be created and implemented. Whatever the situation or circumstance, we are always here to support our families.

If you or your child is in need of help, please know you can reach out and we will support your family with those first day of school anxieties.